Don’t Go Changin', to Try to Please Me
Two years ago my friend Andrew called me asking for a place to live. He was going to be getting a divorce.
And a sex change.
Andrew was 33, a mechanic, and amateur race-car driver. He and his wife had been together for about 12 years, no children. His wife was a devout Catholic that didn’t believe in divorce. (She did, however, believe in fucking her co-worker). Andrew decided to get out of the marriage and devote time to becoming his true self, henceforth known as Andie.
Andie was a good roommate. (at first) She’d clean up after herself, and since her rent was dirt cheap she’d cook a little and help with the yard-work. But then the hormones started kicking in, and I found myself living with a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL! Ack. Everyday she would spend, literally, HOURS in front of the mirror. I guess I can understand that. When your hair grows from a buzz cut to something you can put in a ponytail, you start to notice. When you wear as much makeup as Tammy Faye Baker, and dress like Christina Aguilera, you gotta look. Everyday she’d have a story to tell about how all the guys were checking her out (okaaaay).
Fortunately I read a great book that explained to me what was happening with her, so I didn’t smack the shit out of her.
Andie had therapy every week, and every week she’d come home in tears. She would unload all that she had uncovered during her sessions. Every month she would “come out” to someone else in her circle of friends. For the most part, the news was received very well. Of course there are those back-stabbers that are nice to her face and then act like complete assholes when she isn’t in the room (my former toxic friends). Surprising to both Andie and I, her Dad took it the best. Weird for me is that the #1 question people would ask me about Andie was: “So, does she wanna fuck guys or girls?”.
People, let me just state for the record that gender and sexual identity are two different issues!
I told her that our friendship was not based on what was between her legs. I could in no way understand what it was like for her to grow up as a woman in a man’s body, but my heart ached for her because she did. I didn’t pity her, but instead celebrated the fact that she was going to finally be starting her life as it should be. It was great watching her self-confidence rise, and soon Andie ventured out into the dating world….
Did I mention that she was thinking and behaving like a teenage girl? Uh huh. Taking selfishness to a whole new disgusting level, Andie stopped cleaning (mold covering bathroom ceiling, 1- inch of psoriasis skin around perimeter of bedroom, did not wash sheets in a YEAR folks). Shudder. Long story short, I gave her 8 weeks notice to move. She moved out, leaving behind a horrible mess and stealing the shower liner, hooks, and a chair. She also refused to pay her share for 2-months of utility bills.
I sent her ‘closure’ email and vowed to Never Have a Roommate Again.
On a positive note, I learned a lot from Andie. I learned how it’s important to stand up for yourself and BE yourself no matter what anybody thinks of you.
Accept and appreciate yourself for who you are, and have the courage to allow yourself to change.
Andie never replied to my last email… but I did hear the other day that she finally had the nametag on her work-uniform changed.
And a sex change.
Andrew was 33, a mechanic, and amateur race-car driver. He and his wife had been together for about 12 years, no children. His wife was a devout Catholic that didn’t believe in divorce. (She did, however, believe in fucking her co-worker). Andrew decided to get out of the marriage and devote time to becoming his true self, henceforth known as Andie.
Andie was a good roommate. (at first) She’d clean up after herself, and since her rent was dirt cheap she’d cook a little and help with the yard-work. But then the hormones started kicking in, and I found myself living with a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL! Ack. Everyday she would spend, literally, HOURS in front of the mirror. I guess I can understand that. When your hair grows from a buzz cut to something you can put in a ponytail, you start to notice. When you wear as much makeup as Tammy Faye Baker, and dress like Christina Aguilera, you gotta look. Everyday she’d have a story to tell about how all the guys were checking her out (okaaaay).
Fortunately I read a great book that explained to me what was happening with her, so I didn’t smack the shit out of her.
Andie had therapy every week, and every week she’d come home in tears. She would unload all that she had uncovered during her sessions. Every month she would “come out” to someone else in her circle of friends. For the most part, the news was received very well. Of course there are those back-stabbers that are nice to her face and then act like complete assholes when she isn’t in the room (my former toxic friends). Surprising to both Andie and I, her Dad took it the best. Weird for me is that the #1 question people would ask me about Andie was: “So, does she wanna fuck guys or girls?”.
People, let me just state for the record that gender and sexual identity are two different issues!
I told her that our friendship was not based on what was between her legs. I could in no way understand what it was like for her to grow up as a woman in a man’s body, but my heart ached for her because she did. I didn’t pity her, but instead celebrated the fact that she was going to finally be starting her life as it should be. It was great watching her self-confidence rise, and soon Andie ventured out into the dating world….
Did I mention that she was thinking and behaving like a teenage girl? Uh huh. Taking selfishness to a whole new disgusting level, Andie stopped cleaning (mold covering bathroom ceiling, 1- inch of psoriasis skin around perimeter of bedroom, did not wash sheets in a YEAR folks). Shudder. Long story short, I gave her 8 weeks notice to move. She moved out, leaving behind a horrible mess and stealing the shower liner, hooks, and a chair. She also refused to pay her share for 2-months of utility bills.
I sent her ‘closure’ email and vowed to Never Have a Roommate Again.
On a positive note, I learned a lot from Andie. I learned how it’s important to stand up for yourself and BE yourself no matter what anybody thinks of you.
Accept and appreciate yourself for who you are, and have the courage to allow yourself to change.
Andie never replied to my last email… but I did hear the other day that she finally had the nametag on her work-uniform changed.
posted by Gertie at 21:53
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